Monday, February 16, 2009

Life is Crazy Sometimes

I'm not joking, it really is crazy right now.

1. Someone from my best friend's past turned up and made some nasty comments. I'm not sure how this person found her again. I'm really afraid that she found her via me, but my friend is sure that is not how she did it. I still feel really bad. Its not right that this person has to go out of her way to be mean to my friend.

2. Stacy has purchased a domain name and purchased web hosting with which I will be sharing a part of the cost, so that I can also have my own domain name and site. I'm very excited about this, because it might actually drum up some business for me. I really need to start earning money. Though, with the weather that we are having, I wouldn't be able to do any quality shoots. Dang it!

3. My boyfriend is finally sending signals I can understand. You see, he is not an affectionate man. He doesn't hold hands, doesn't kiss much, nadda. So, when he attempted to show affection Saturday after our Valentines meal, it surprised me a lot. But, because of this, I have a better understanding of some of the things he has said and done lately.

You see, a couple weeks ago, he took me with him to look at houses and seemed to want my opinion. We spoke mostly in terms of "his" house, but every now and then it seemed like he was saying "our" home. I brushed it off, but now I'm not sure. There have been other things that he has said and done that make me wonder.

When we first started hanging out again, we did have a long discussion about what we thought went wrong with our relationship in the past and we came to similar conclusions and ideas. We agreed that some of our problems came from being only children and not being taught to share even when we didn't want to share. We just didn't have to. We also both realized that we each like a certain amount of alone time and in the past, we tended to not leave room for that. Now that we know what we were doing wrong, and both understand that it isn't because we don't love each other, it seems like maybe this time it will work. Now I'm sure you all are asking, does she love this guy, she doesn't talk like she does. Well, to be honest, I've always loved him. I just thought that I couldn't have him and I couldn't understand why. Now I get what was going on.

You see, he was adopted. He has fear of commitment issues. It isn't that he cannot commit, it is that he thinks no one else can. So, no matter how many times I tell him I love him, he thinks that it is only a matter of time before I leave him. To bad we didn't figure this out years ago, maybe we would have stayed together and a few of the things that have happened to me, would not. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

4. Work has cut my hours down to 4 a week. If that isn't a sign that they want to be rid of me, I don't know what is. Anyway, so I have been applying for other work, but so far I have not been successful. Two of the jobs are still listed, so I don't think they've started interviews yet. I'm hoping they will call this week or next. I would like to start a new job soon, or know that another job is there for me. Then I can quit the one I've got without worries.

So, my life is kinda odd right now. Haven't a clue why, but it is. That's okay though. We learn from diversity right?

2 comments:

Stacy said...

Yes, you do have a crazy life! It is not all bad though. The website will be exciting and things with your BF are looking up! Good luck with the job!

Stacy

BrownCoat said...

Thanks, I know my life isn't all bad. Friends make everything better. Don't know how you do it, but you do.

The web site stuff is really exciting. It is taxing my poor brain though. I need to get a good photo to make a blackout banner. I really liked that one on wordpress but I want to use my own photos. I want to try to use a pic of Jasmin. I think it would look neat to have her white fur fade to black.